breaks a bottle on $nick's head
hits $nick with every gold bar in fort knox
hugs $nick with a rather large squid
waves at $nick with a hydraulic pump
slaps $nick with a book by Stephen King
inserts a 10mbit isa network card in $nick
slaps $nick totally with a ladies handbag
throws $nick to a football team
pours a bag of Cheerios into $nick
slaps $nick with a hat
slaps $nick with the back hand
throws a computer monitor at $nick
breaks a coconut open on $nick's head
yells at $nick with a microphone
breaks $nick's cellphone with a dwarven axe
hits $nick with a stone
throws a spiked club at $nick
slaps $nick with a small asteroid, rich in iron
hits $nick with a small interstellar spaceship
smears $nick with a fresh zucchini
slaps $nick with a laptop
hits $nick with a big dictionary
throws a baseball bat at $nick
kills $nick with a mIRC script
rubs $nick with a tortoise
kicks $nick with a horse
hits $nick with the book of Kells
feeds $nick to a whale
slaps $nick with the New York Times Sunday Edition
bites $nick with a gnarly werewolf
bites $nick with a vampire
puts $nick into a perl script
feeds $nick with a bag of doggie chow
slaps $nick with a fat walrus
hits $nick with an IP address
prays $nick with a catholic priest
slaps $nick with James Dean
throws $nick to Ronald MacDonald
runs $nick trough Autoconf version 2.13
slaps $nick with a PRIVMSG
spams $nick's email address
draws $nick with some ANSI color codes
attacks $nick with a thermonuclear weapon
reads to $nick the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy, revised edition
plays with $nick and Nessie, the Loch Ness monster
slaps $nick with a tuna. Still in the can! *BONK* That will leave a mark
burns $nick with a red chinese dragon
smears $nick with a bird shit
pours a tuborg super light beer down the throat on $nick
blows $nick up with 1 ton of c4
kills $nick with the answer to everything
blows $nick away with a sandstorm
jumps on $nick with king kong
bites $nick with a donkey
lets $nick disappear into a black hole
slaps $nick with pure nothing
stabs $nick with a key
slaps $nick with an elevator
chokes $nick with a smiley printed in china
hands $nick a microsoft book
slaps $nick with a IPv6 IP address
makes $nick unstable with a 2.5 kernel
slaps $nick with bill gates wallet
hugs $nick with a carebear
wraps $nick with a 42m long worm
smacks $nick with Redhat 7
slaps $nick with Windows Update
buries $nick under an apple tree
stings $nick with all bees from a beehive